So now you have to have “that” dreaded discussion with your boss to make changes to your job (if you have decided to make a change internally), or that “scary” interview.
We often go into these thinking we have to “sell” ourselves, that we will be judged. Having the right mindset for these situations is crucial.
Here are a few simple tips and actions that will help you get into that mindset.
1/ Change your mindset from thinking it’s about “them” interrogating you to viewing it as an exchange of information between equals.
With a new company / new counterpart in your company
– It’s not about them judging if you are competent, it’s about both of you finding more about each other, assessing if you are “right” for each other (as cliché as this might sound!), if you have compatible values, if you can work together
With your current boss
– It’s not about you justifying a need for change, it’s about two people (or more) discussing how to better serve their interests and that of the company (which hopefully are the same!).
To reinforce this, when you have finished reading the article do the role-play exercise at the end of the article.
2/ Look at things from their perspective. What do they really want? What are they really looking for? What is their main problem? What KPIs do they need you to help them achieve? How can you help them solve their issues?
Don’t just read this, write down answers to these questions now.
If you don’t know and can’t find out what their main issues are, don’t presume, ask them during the interview and in the meantime, run various scenarios to see how you could truly help them.
Put very simply, from their perspective it is not about you, it’s about them. Make the discussion about that. Care about them, about what they have to say and how you can help.
3/ Be aware of and change the language you use to describe the situation to yourself:
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– You are not being judged, you are exchanging information
If you feel that it is all a little “scary”, take a few minutes now to write down at least 5 reasons why you are confident going into that discussion.
Also, ask someone you trust to help you increase your awareness of your “self talk” by picking up on words you use.
4/ Remember that they are “just” humans, just like you, with their own fears, their own stress. And remember that beyond all titles, all outwards appearances of “power”, just like you they have bills to pay, they eat, they use bathrooms, they wear pyjamas….
If you feel intimidated or uncomfortable with “authority figures”, take a couple of minutes now to humanise them in your mind, visualise them in basic everyday life situations… It is simple but can be quite powerful.
5/ Role-play exercise
To really see things from their perspective, role-play being “them” first. Really try to “be” them. It’ll help you see what their issues are, what they really want, what issue they need solved, why they are looking for someone now…
It’ll also help you clarify what you know about them, what you need to find out either prior to the discussion or during.
Then visualise the discussion not in the standard interview setup with a big table between you but in an environment that you are comfortable in, at a café, in a relaxed place… Imagine you are 2 people (or more if you know more people will be involved in the discussion) trying to solve a problem, with different but equally important skills. Visualise this with as much details as possible, hear what you would be saying, see and feel how relaxed your body language would be…
Finally, rerun this last scenario changing the environment to a more “traditional” one, without changing anything else: you are still people trying to solve a problem, with different but equally important skills, you are still feeling comfortable…
I would love to hear how you went with this! And don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or want to hear more about certain topics.
If you want to know more about the Mindset Foundations for a Successful Career Change, go to www.itsallinthemindset.com/short-course/