Do you ever find yourself thinking: “I wish I had behaved differently in this situation?” and get quite annoyed at yourself?
Here is a simple way to start dealing with it.
For a moment, think about someone you respect or even admire and ask yourself: how would this person have reacted in that situation?
Now imagine you are this person and replay the situation in your mind as if you were that person, imagining the outcome or behaviour you actually wanted.
Visualise the situation in as much detail as possible, see yourself behaving differently, hear the conversation, see your reactions and that of the person/people around you, feel the way you would like to have felt.
If you know in advance that you might not behave in a situation as you would like, practice it in your mind beforehand. You could even get it out of your mind and practice with a friend or trusted colleague!
If it is a situation that just “pops up”, as soon as you realise that you are going down a path you don’t like, remember this mental exercise. If you are able to catch yourself early enough, make a change to the way you react even if it is really small to start with.
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Whether it was a foreseen situation or one that just happened “by surprise”, you might find that once again you thought about it retrospectively. Like many things in life, it will require practice and patience. The more you do it, the more you will become aware of your behaviour and triggers and the more you will be able to make a change to the way you react “on the spot”.
It is really important that you allow yourself to be patient with yourself, and to not judge yourself for not succeeding straight away; just imagine if you had become so impatient with yourself when trying to learn to walk that you had given up on it…
Do give it a go! After all, what do you have to loose by trying this?
And do let me know how you went with it!
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